We took advantage of the free national parks day and drove up to Mount Rainier to play in the snow. We weren’t the only ones with the idea, it was crowded but we still had fun and it was such a beautiful day. The roads were very clear, you didn’t even need to carry chains. I only took a few photos, but they are pretty don’t worry ;) No sledding photos either. Maybe I will convince Levi to go on Sunday for family day, and spend the whole day playing in the snow!
This post will probably surprise some of you who didn’t know me in my teenage years and met me when I finally matured ;)
So… my teenage years hit pretty hard, and I feel SO(can’t make that big enough) sorry I put my parents through all those years. And I pray Mason isn’t as bad as I was :(
Like I’ve said before I used to skateboard and it was an awesome part of my life but I loved it so much I choose to skip too much school and sometimes hung out with the wrong people. When I was 16 I started partying with my friends, nothing wrong with those friends just our choices we made. Every weekend we were out drinking and going to parties. Some nights I wouldn’t go home and just stayed at friends house, not calling my parents, some nights I would miss curfew and ignore my parents calls. Now, I just can’t imagine the thoughts running through their heads what could of happened and now I completely believe it when they said they couldn’t sleep. I AM SO SORRY MOM AND DAD!!
The drinking and driving. I don’t even know how I did it, but I’d make it home in one piece not ever an accident or getting pulled over. I definitely had someone watching over me! Stupid and young.
Then one summer my parents kicked me out and I went to live in Spokane with my grandparents. I truly believe that was my turning point; they were hardcore church people, I didn’t know anyone, I got a job at a hotel, had to ride the bus everywhere, the only place I went to for fun was the library. By the end of summer I was back home and making better choices.
So parents, if you have a “troubled” teen don’t blame yourself, pray that it’s just a faze and it’ll be over quickly without anyone getting hurt. Offer to drive/pick them up whenever, but they will most likely decline your offer. They believe they are adults and need to learn things on their own, no matter how much we all know they are still children. Have hope!
And teens, my biggest advice and the two things I hope you’ll take out of this is; take up your parents offer to drive/pick you up from parties, YES they know there is alcohol and yes they probably will give you a lecture but wouldn’t you rather be getting that lecture from them in the car and not in a jail cell or in a coffin? Secondly, don’t ignore your parents call, they know you are out partying and drinking, they just want to hear your voice that you are okay and not in a ditch.
I had amazing parents who cared, even when I didn’t want them to care. Who offered to drive/pick me up whenever. Thank you Mom and Dad for being there for me and never giving up, even though I caused you so much trouble and heartache.
I know, I’ve hardly been here this past month. I don’t even know where to begin. The start of 2014 or even the end of 2013 wasn’t how I planned it to end or begin. Levi and I sat down and talked the other night about me kinda shutting off everything thats been happening. Thats my down fall I bottle things up. Ive kept my resolution about trying harder with my friendships and have been “bugging” people to hangout but I haven’t been completely there for my home life or myself. I don’t know how to explain it but my mind is always thinking about it but I try to keep busy, keep it to myself and not talk to people about it. The number one place I express my feelings/thoughts to is this here blog, I don’t know what it is maybe its just easier to write things down and you don’t have to “make sense”?!
I don’t know, maybe I’ve already lost you. But I needed to write something.
Ill go ahead and begin with what happened. You probably already know but I have a huge fear of death, like right now she just writing about it my stomach is in knots. After I die will I remember anything from my life here on earth, will it feel like forever until I see my loved ones? My life here on earth might not be perfect but I don’t want to leave this world. I want to stay right where I am, and watch my little boy grow up.
It made me so sad to hear of Paul Walkers death. And then on Christmas day I got a call from one of my best friends since 2nd grade that her twin sister died. I just couldn’t help but think of all the times I told her we would facetime her or 2 days before her passing I was meaning to text her that her christmas card got returned or when the next time our group is together she wont physically be there. My best friend of 21 years will no longer grow old with us. Its just so surreal how quickly life can be taken away from you. And that person you always mean to tell you care about them, you no longer get that chance so stop what your doing and tell your loved ones you care because they can(or you) could be gone tomorrow. When her son would come during breaks to visit with his dad and family Darla really wanted our sons to get together to play and it wouldn’t always work out. The other day while the boys were playing I wanted so bad to let her know we finally got them together and they had so much fun or tell her that her son is going to live right by us and we’ll get to see him a lot :(
After hearing of her death we got home 24 hours after to find our cat had a stroke, took her into the vet and found out she had a massive tumor on her belly and we had to put her down. Our home just wasn’t the same.
Too many deaths lately. On Sunday heard of another friend dying in a car accident. I don’t want to look on facebook or answer phone calls lately, too much sadness.
I will end it on a happy note, something I’ve learned from this. I love hugs!! There is just something about giving and receiving hugs to put a little spark in it. When you experience death it just gives you a whole new look at life and what you make of it. I believe 2014 will get better but it’s just going to take sometime.
The only resolution I am making is
I want to try harder in life, make the most of it. Try harder to not sit on the couch and do nothing.
Try harder on my blog for myself. You’ve probably noticed the lack of blogging on my part. I was just starting to get over whelmed with all the sponsored posts that I was avoiding blogging for myself even though I would always be thinking of stuff I wanted to write about. This year I’m going to be more selective with which brands I work with.
And I’m going to try harder with my relationships with friends and family. Life is too short, tell your family and friends that you love them more, that your thinking about them, that you care. There’s so many times where I think about texting/calling/visiting someone and then get side track and forget about it. Well, that might be the last time. I sent my friend our Christmas card, and it got returned back (because I didn’t put their last name) 2 days before she passed away, the day it came back to me I was going to text her and tell her but I got side track. I know that’s such a little thing but I’m pretty sure it will always stick with me and I feel bad for not telling her “Merry Christmas”!
I could be here all day telling you all the things I’m going to try harder on, but I don’t want to bore you. I’m a procrastinator and it needs to end!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
MAY THIS YEAR BE AMAZING FOR EVERYONE!
I’d say 2013 was a pretty good year for me. I didn’t like how it ended but that wasn’t up to me. Here’s a little recap of our year. I won’t do a recap of every month don’t worry, you can always go search the archive if you want to do that :)
January & February – Mason was in the newspaper and his first modeling gig photos were published.
In April we started our journey of fostering dogs. We had 3 foster dogs in 2013; Dottie, Max and Molly. It is truly an amazing feeling and those dogs will forever be part of our family.
Mason also turned 5 in April, how did that happen?!
June – I still can’t believe we went to Greece this year, my #1 place to visit on my bucket list. Feels like it was a dream, a very vivid one. We had such an awesome time and so fortunate I was able to experience it. I will only post a few pictures, wow do I miss it!!
Doesn’t the background in this picture look Photoshop? I can assure you it wasn’t ;)
2013 – this year we have traveled all over Washington, so thankful for our adventures. Checked so many things off my bucket list. It’s amazing how much we did but it still feels like we didn’t do enough.
September – Mason started Kindergarten! And has grown so quickly this year.
2013 – I feel we have grown as a family this past year. My Mom was diagnosed with cancer, also beat cancer and became stronger in my eyes. With so many deaths at the end of this year it felt really good to look back at all the plus this year has brought. Thank you for that blog!
Here’s to a great year! 2014!!